World Record Appreciation Society, California-style.

Escaping the winter of cold of New York City, we hopped a plane and took off to host World Record Appreciation Society events in San Francisco and San Diego. First stop was San Francisco's legendary Hemlock Tavern. A sold-out crowd of over 110 people showed up to rock out to Date Nite and witness a spectacular display of 13 brand-new world records. Nutshell recap:

Most Trivial Pursuit Questions Answered Incorrectly In One Minute

Using the original Genus Edition, Nat Lawlor demonstrated impressively weak trivia skills by answering seven Trivial Pursuit questions incorrectly in one minute, a new world record.

Fastest Time To Twist All Fingers Over One Another

Lori Nygaard showed off extraordinary digit dexterity by bending all her fingers over one another in just 5.35 seconds. Though she set a world record in doing so, her fingers are now stuck like that for life.

Most Knock Knock Jokes In One Minute

Squeezing in 14 knock-knock jokes in one minute, Debbie Hampton set a new world record. Some jokes were hilarious, others were C+ at best. Regardless, they all add up to a tremendously impressive feat.

Most Playing Cards Incorrectly Guessed In A Row

Steve Payonzeck opened a brand-new pack of Bicycle Playing Cards and managed to guess 13 cards incorrectly in a row. The 14th card, however, proved to be his downfall.

Most Four-Letter Words In One Minute

Frankie Norstad demonstrated her tremendous vocabulary by saying 46 four-letter words in one minute, a new world record. Good. Cool. Zany. Nice.

Fastest Rendition Of A Rock Band Alphabet

Paying homage to performance artist Ray Johnson, Jack Woodworth ran through an entire rock band alphabet in a mere 53.25 seconds. He did so while wearing a tank top and smashing a box. Very performance art-y.

Most Insults In One Minute

In the evening’s most controversial feat, Ian Kalman brought brave volunteers onstage and showered them insults. He threw out 15 insults in one minute, a new record. Sadly, three volunteers then broke into tears.

Most Doughnut Holes Stuffed in Doughnuts In 15 Seconds

Craig Mangan paired up an astounding nine doughnut holes with nine doughnuts in 15 seconds. He then whipped the doughnut creations at screaming fans in the audience, sending two of them to the hospital.

Fastest Time To 18 Cigarettes Within One Foot Of Electric Fan

Displaying an impressive ability to draw fire from his lighter, Sean Farrell lit 18 cigarettes within one foot of an electric fan set on high in three minutes, 45 seconds. Fortunately for Farrell, the fire department didn’t show up until his attempt was complete.

Most Money Destroyed For Profit

Jerry Paffendorf came onstage and shocked the audience by shredding $72 in a blender. He then offered to sell the entire piece as an artwork for $73. No one bought it, but he’s going to list the piece on eBay soon. Stay tuned.
 
Most Times Saying “Snickerdoodle” While Eating A Snickerdoodle In One Minute

Matt Rivitz stuffed a homemade Snickerdoodle cookie in his mouth and said “snickerdoodle” 72 times in one minute, a new world record. People in the front row got showered with cookie crumbs from Rivitz’s mouth, leaving them mightily displeased.
 
Largest Group Toast

Octavian Drulen led 17 people to raise their glasses and toast, pushing the limits of collective celebratory achievement.
 
Most Drugs Named During A Rendition Of “I Want A New Drug”

Date Nite ended the evening by shouting out 27 different drugs while performing “I Want A New Drug”. Rock and roll, baby!

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We then headed south to San Diego to do a live four-hour broadcast with the 91X Morning Show in San Diego. They booked out the local House of Blues, and from 6 to 10 AM it was nothing but world records, breakfast burritos and 91 cent beers.

San Diego proved to a tremendous record-setting city, destroying several records New Yorkers and others had previously held. We'll definitely get back there soon. Nutshell recap:

Most Compliments In One Minute

Sammi the Intern showered people in the room with 26 compliments, a new record.

Most Images Of Fish Sandwiches Looked At In One Minute

Carlos Montoya stepped up and looked at an outstanding 67 fish sandwiches, beating existing record holder Todd Lamb and proudly bringing the title back to the West Coast.

Most Consecutive Hindu Pushups By A Forrest Gump Impersonator

Peter Chacon wowed the room by performing 18 Hindu pushups in a row, all while wearing a rather elaborate Forrest Gump outift.

Most Binder Clips Attached To Face

TJ Ervin displayed a stronger-than-average ability to deal with pain by attaching 34 binder clips to his face, beating the existing world record by by eight.

Fastest Beer Shotgun

Peter Cannales shotgunned a Coors Light Widemouth in a lightning-quick 2.91 seconds. We're waiting on video evidence to deterimine if this was in fact a new world record.

Most Giraffe Tattoos On A Shoulder
 
Mike MacDonald took the day off work and got Luckys Tattoo artist Luke Wessman to ink three giraffes on his shoulder, breaking the existing record by two.

Longest "Shh"

Show host Mat Diablo maxed out his lungs and proceeded to let out a record-breaking "shh", putting previous record holders in the category to shame.

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Two cities, 20 new world records. Tons of thanks to everyone who helped make the trip happen, including the Hemlock Tavern, Date Nite, Debbie Hampton, Frankie Norstad, DJ Clyde, 91X, the House of Blues, all the new record setters and all our friends who let us sleep on their couches. Dan

Print | posted on Tuesday, March 03, 2009 3:47 PM